Get Out of Your Own Way

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The world and its occupants are loaded down with rules, expectations, judgments, accusations, and speculations – all about you. From the moment you take your first breath, someone is telling you how you are, what you should think, feel, and do. As babies, we need someone to show us the basics, but once we develop our own minds, we love to “do it ourselves.” That’s natural.

From the moment you take your first breath, someone is telling you how you are, what you should think, feel, and do. As babies, we need someone to show us the basics, but once we develop our own minds, we love to “do it ourselves.” That’s natural. Just look at nature for confirmation.

People don’t stop imposing their attitudes, beliefs, and opinions on us once we are thinking for ourselves. Humans have grown into complex creatures that feel compelled to articulate the “why” of everything. And we think this makes us intelligent.

Oh, contra ire.

The more you listen to everyone else instead of your own feelings, the farther away from yourself you travel.

No one can fully escape someone telling them “no.”

“No. You can’t do that.”

“No. You shouldn’t think (feel or believe) that.”

“No. You are wrong.”

“No. You are not ___________enough.” Fill in the blank. (smart, talented, skinny, brave, rich, pretty, connected, educated or strong)

You hear any of that often, eventually it soaks into you like an ink stain. Your subconscious mind replays those negative ideas constantly. Even though your conscious mind is telling you not to listen, not to believe, and that you should know better. Because you do!

But whenever you are complimented, you brush it off and reject the positive input. Any skull session that promotes creativity and chasing dreams has you snuffing them out with all the reasons “why not” instead of planning the pathway toward our goals.

We stamp out our dreams like a boot extinguishing a cigarette.

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What can we do?

Wish on a star? A birthday candle? Wait for a hero to rescue us from ourselves?

How can you undo years of mental programming and record new, positive, self-affirming “Yes!” data?

Be aware of your thoughts and re-word them, one thought at a time. Be diligent! Any time you get down on yourself or hear yourself rebuffing a compliment, STOP! Imagine a seeing a stop sign and then mentally talk to yourself as you would someone you love.

Squirming yet? Yes, it is very uncomfortable because you are accustomed to accepting the worst for yourself.  Accepting the best takes practice and reward.

When you treat yourself, you never chose the smallest brownie or just one piece of chocolate. So why do you do that in other areas?

If you feel as if you “don’t deserve” good stuff, you’ve been lied to. Oh, yeah. Again and again, you’ve been fed big, fat, hairy lies by people who had also been raised on a diet of the same or are purposely trying to hold you back and keep you down.

You were born knowing better but changed when the rest of the world got a hold of you.

Instead of asking yourself what you think about it, ask: How do I feel about it? Use your heart center instead of your intellect.

How do you feel about it?

You know when you feel good and bad. Any time you get down on yourself with all the reasons why not, stop. Remind yourself that all those reasons came from others. Then ask yourself: How do I feel about it?

Use your heart instead of your head. How does it feel? It’s smarter than you think.

WWW: Bandicoot

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Image courtesy of BuzzFeed

Is it a rat? An opossum? A little of both. It is a rat-like marsupial that lives in southeast Asia and Australia.

How did they come up with a word for it? Perhaps having a little bafflegab – unclear, wordy jargon that sounds like gobbledygook.

Cute or creepy? Not sure I’d want one as a pet.

WWW: Lemniscate

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A lemniscate is a plane curve with a characteristic shape, consisting of two loops that meet at a central point as shown below. The curve is also known as the lemniscate of Bernoulli. In the (x, y) plane, the lemniscate can be described in terms of the following general equation: (x 2 + y 2) 2 = 2a 2(x 2 – y 2)

Otherwise known as the infinity symbol, which sounds a whole lot more relatable to a non-math aficionado.Yet when I look at it, I see the number 8 on its side. Metaphysical people relate the number 8 to money and physical abundance manifestation. It speaks to strong ambition, independence, and courage. Eight is great! Lemniscate? Leave it to Latin to complicate something simple. Happens to be my favorite symbol. Image result for metaphysical meaning of eight

“To lemniscate, and beyond!”

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Doesn’t quite work.

When No One Hears You

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Image by DeviantArt

Ever have times when you need someone to listen to your thoughts, your ideas, or your problems and you feel as if you are talking to a wall? You are met with resistance and offered explanations on why your thoughts, ideas, and problems are not real or true? You hear the word “no” a lot.

While your friends and family mean well, they don’t always listen. Oh, they hear select words and begin formulating responses before you are finished talking. They stop listening at a certain point and focus on that alone without hearing you out completely. Hurt feelings develop because you feel shut out, your thoughts and feelings are not important enough for full consideration.

Often, we just want to be heard. We don’t require advice or approval. We just need validation that our thoughts, ideas, or problems are worthy of someone’s time and attention. When we are not heard, we retreat into a tower of our own design, either a prison or a haven, to bandage our wounded heads and hearts.

Boo hoo, poor you. What can you do?

Talk louder?  Throw a temper tantrum like a spoiled child?

I write things out as if there is a fly on the wall reading it. I think perhaps we might just be working too hard to be heard by the wrong people. Maybe it’s prudent to move down another path and encounter new people. Maybe we should sit with ourselves instead of leaning on others to make it better. Maybe a shift in perspective is in order.

This morning I watched a young doe wander around the pasture behind my house looking lost. I watched her for about fifteen minutes. I put myself in her place, alone in the rain looking for which direction to head without another for guidance. She circled a small area and stared right at me for several minutes.

“What do I do? Which way to I go? Where are others like me?”

Being lost and alone is a temporary state. And the only way to find others like you is to move and continue to search. And the rain. (How I prayed for it though our painfully dry summer! Now we are getting too much.) But rain is cleansing. It washes everything and brings new growth. Clean slate, so to speak.

So, what if no one hears you? If you are quiet enough, you might hear that still small voice. “Psst. Over here.” And you’ll move in that direction, in a new mindset with a new perspective. Because remaining rooted in one perspective won’t help you to be heard.