Gloom, Despair, and Agony

Hee Haw guys

The paranormal world is one big question mark most of the time. Search and discovery is part of the allure. But lately it feels like the normal world is an even bigger mystery to me. No one has all the answers, but it’s really hard to see a loved one suffer, but not be able to help. Any suggestions or ideas fall on deaf ears when a troubled soul is wallowing in their own suffering. They fall into a pit of despair and can’t see their way out.

I’ve had my fair share of miserable times, and worked hard to climb out of them. But sometimes, people just don’t have it in them. Life has kicked them in the head a few too many times and they don’t have the strength to pull themselves up to go another round. They lose their equilibrium and can’t see light anywhere. It’s painful to watch. Even more painful when you try to be of service and end up doing or saying something to make it worse.

Some wear the Cloak of Misery as comfortably as they do their own skin.  No matter what kind of advice I offer, it is immediately rejected. The claiming is that they’ve already tried every option available without results. Everything said goes through an already clogged filter and translates to more sludge they have to wade through.

What can I do to help someone so bogged down in their own problems they’ve adopted it as their identity?

The only answer I have left is to allow them to be what they chose to be. If they chose to remain miserable and unyielding in their perspective, I am left to listen, sympathize, provide tissue to dry the tears, and nod about how cruel the world can be. Emotional support is all I have left in my tool box at the moment. And when part of your profession involves giving advice, that can be a jagged little pill to swallow.

But just because I counsel people doesn’t mean I have all the answers. No one does.  And I do believe in free will, which means the afflicted have the choice to change how they think and feel about their problems. Only they have the power to change, even when their circumstances remain the same. I often think of prisoners of war, trapped, without any way to change their situation. What keeps them going when they appear to have no hope? Perspective – how they chose to think and feel.

What goes on in our minds is proprietary. We are the guardians and emperors of our consciousness -rulers of our mental empires. We decide what to think and feel about our circumstances. And have the free will to accept or reject any advice offered. We choose.  We either sing that old Hee Haw song “Gloom, despair, and agony on me” or engage our minds with constructive and satisfying thoughts. I’m of the mind that I create my environment, so when the world kicks me when I’m down, I seek sanctuary in a nest of beauty, love, comfort, creativity, and escapism.

We all feel alone and unloved at some point. So self-love and care is essential.

So when a loved one chooses not to act on advice, the only thing I have left to offer is a shoulder to cry on. But over time, that can wear me down and make me feel like a welcome mat in a mud room, available only to scuff dirty shoes clean. Then I have resort to taking my own advice, doing everything possible to lift my own spirits.

“I Want To Put A Curse on Somebody!” she cried.

_Voodoo_doll__by_MacGreen

I work part time at a new age gift shop that supplies items for magical ritual and self enhancement. For the most part, the majority of patrons hail from the “harm none” community. But everything has its shadow side.

One customer announced in no uncertain terms, “I want to put a curse on somebody.” Then, of course, she wanted to know what ingredients needed to do this. Sorry, can’t help you. I don’t believe anyone has the right to interfere with someone else’s free will, unless my life is being threatened. I do believe in the right to defend myself.

But with diplomacy and grace the second-in-command sweetly asked, “Would you have wish someone to do this to you?”

The customer answered “no” then launched into the terrible tale of her target.

Here’s the thing: Two wrongs never make a right. Sometimes it can create a lengthy and costly battle that neither party wins. No matter how horribly someone treats you, doing anything to inflict harm as payback will only bite you in the butt down the road. And mirroring someone’s act of wrong-doing does not make you any better than they are. I have a lot of experience in that area.

Proactively attacking the problem with from a more positive position can produce a better result for all parties. I resisted this theory for many years, but with experimentation, I learned that the high road – while paved in self-righteousness and dusted with grains of conceit and judgment – is the safest, most diplomatic path away from injustice.

“You can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar.” The same goes for kindness. Even angry, vengeful people find it difficult to not reciprocate when someone smiles at them and treats them kindly. If this behavior annoys them or makes them uncomfortable, they make a speedy exit. Walking away or removing yourself from the equation might be the only option to diffusing the drama.

In my youth I was a pretty miserable piece of work. My parents battled constantly and I was the alien being they had not planned on, but was stuck with. I was shoe-horned into jobs I hated for corporations I did not appreciate. Conformity did not allow me to live my truth and created some very dark, angry years. I had been mistreated, and in some instances, gave as good as I got. Always with regret. Yet, I never imagined actually “putting a curse” on anyone who abused or mistreated me. Fantasized, sure. But wishing that a person receives their comeuppance is different than initiating any form of retaliation.

Thankfully, in the case of the customer, my co-worker prescribed a manner of reversing the energy of the “bad guy” right back to them. The same principle as holding up mirror. Therefore, the negativity was deflected from her and “return to sender.”

It is perfectly human to have ill feelings against another, but search your conscience for the consequences of meddling with someone else. If you chose to proceed, use caution. Be prepared to battle more negative energies, to a higher degree, than had you left well enough alone.

If you don’t want to cover your behind, be kind.