Day in the life

When No One Hears You

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Image by DeviantArt

Ever have times when you need someone to listen to your thoughts, your ideas, or your problems and you feel as if you are talking to a wall? You are met with resistance and offered explanations on why your thoughts, ideas, and problems are not real or true? You hear the word “no” a lot.

While your friends and family mean well, they don’t always listen. Oh, they hear select words and begin formulating responses before you are finished talking. They stop listening at a certain point and focus on that alone without hearing you out completely. Hurt feelings develop because you feel shut out, your thoughts and feelings are not important enough for full consideration.

Often, we just want to be heard. We don’t require advice or approval. We just need validation that our thoughts, ideas, or problems are worthy of someone’s time and attention. When we are not heard, we retreat into a tower of our own design, either a prison or a haven, to bandage our wounded heads and hearts.

Boo hoo, poor you. What can you do?

Talk louder?  Throw a temper tantrum like a spoiled child?

I write things out as if there is a fly on the wall reading it. I think perhaps we might just be working too hard to be heard by the wrong people. Maybe it’s prudent to move down another path and encounter new people. Maybe we should sit with ourselves instead of leaning on others to make it better. Maybe a shift in perspective is in order.

This morning I watched a young doe wander around the pasture behind my house looking lost. I watched her for about fifteen minutes. I put myself in her place, alone in the rain looking for which direction to head without another for guidance. She circled a small area and stared right at me for several minutes.

“What do I do? Which way to I go? Where are others like me?”

Being lost and alone is a temporary state. And the only way to find others like you is to move and continue to search. And the rain. (How I prayed for it though our painfully dry summer! Now we are getting too much.) But rain is cleansing. It washes everything and brings new growth. Clean slate, so to speak.

So, what if no one hears you? If you are quiet enough, you might hear that still small voice. “Psst. Over here.” And you’ll move in that direction, in a new mindset with a new perspective. Because remaining rooted in one perspective won’t help you to be heard.

 

 

 

 

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Day in the life, Just Plain Strange

Menehune – Man or Mystical Myth?

Image result for menehune sightingsImage © Loren Coleman, Patrick Huyghe, Harry Trumbore, 1999; 2006.

The Finding Bigfoot team went in search of Cryptomundo or Menehune (aka Little Foot), which falls into the Bigfoot family of. Menehune is considered to be a 3-foot tall or smaller manlike creature in Kauai. They are speculated to be descended from the original Marquesan settlers of Hawaii from the sixth century, before the arrival of the Polynesians. Shy, but welcoming, one theory has foreigners driving them back into the forest. Legend describes muscular little fireplugs with magical powers like leprechauns capable of building large structures and bridges overnight. They appear to be ape-looking people who wear loin cloths. Other reports make them appear more creature-like than human.

The items I dug up online was mere speculation.

http://moveto-hawaii.com/legend-menehune-solved-ruined/

Silly mockumentary:

Sightings continue to this day. And one report claimed that the 1820’s census included 65 Menehune residents.

Another legend says that a prince and princess were caught spying on them and the Menehune turned them into stone. (I know a couple people I wouldn’t mind turning to stone, ya?)

Intrigued?

 

Day in the life, Weird Word of the Week

WWW – Stomatopod

Any of various marine crustaceans of the order Stomatopoda, which includes squilla.

What’s a squilla? Mantis shrimp.

Squilla mantis

Looks like a lobster wearing a headdress of a fly with deer antlers. Creepy looking, but I’m betting tasty with clarified butter.

Yes, I’m having shrimp for dinner. I’m not sure why eating something that looks like a bug doesn’t bother me, yet anything with big eyes and fur bugs me. I do eat mammals, but not ones I have to look in the eye first. Really wish I didn’t have to, but my genetics dictate. I tried to be a vegetarian once and got pretty ill, even before I passed out and got a concussion on the Terrazo floor. My doctor said, “Bad idea with your blood.”

On a snowy day, a little stomatopod soup will go down nicely.

 

 

 

Arts, Books, Day in the life, Just Plain Strange

Weird Word of the Week Series

:Image result for images of sleeping on a train

Since I wrapped my last novel, I’ve been riding The Lazy Train when it comes to writing. Four years on a project is a long time! I need to do some shorter stuff that will help me ease from the steps into the deep end of the pool. Inspired by a tattoo artist who was advised to draw like crazy to develop a portfolio before she ever picked up an ink gun, I am trying a similar move with words. (And I know Julie Powell did this with cooking a few years back which started as a blog, then turned into a book, then a movie. You just never know the possibilities.)

Image result for images of Julie & Julia

I will scour various sources for words that I consider weird and will post short thoughts about them. Who knows what will come out? I’ll keep it brief. Then I will crown the Weird Word of the Week.  I’d considered doing this daily, because I like the idea of a regimen, but wasn’t sure how many weird words I would encounter. And, let’s face it, Word of the Day has been done to death.

Alpha helix is weird, and two words. Defined, a spatial configuration of many protein molecules in which . . . I stopped reading because unless I were writing about a scientist, I would never have an opportunity to use such a word, much less understand it. (I would have to call my sister, the physics teacher.)

My husband has had the word nosegay in this pocket since the 7th grade. It is a small bouquet of flowers. In this century sounds like a slur, or a pharmaceutical.

Alright . . .

Is alright weird? It might be apropos. See how I’m easing in? Okay, it’s a rubber life raft that’s almost as large as the pool. If you stay with me, it will get better.

I do think it is odd to either be alright or all right. The shorter alright is used mainly in dialogue and considered incorrect in formal writing. Whereas all right is higher brow and scholarly. My writing critique group has landed on me more than a couple of times about that.

Many folks are waking up this New Year’s morning to say, “Alright. Today I start the __________ (diet, workout, regimen, project, new attitude toward humanity).”

Me? I’m adding Weird Word of the Week to my already odd repertoire. You know if it’s strange and unusual I’ve got to move closer to it.

Alright?

Enjoy the final day of your holiday.

 

Mr. “Alright. Alright. Alright.”

Image result for images of matthew mcconaughey alright alright alright

 

 

 

Day in the life

Make Peace This Season

Image result for images of snoopy christmas

The traffic sucks. The stores are a mess. Toddlers are whining. Lines are long because there are too few registers open. Relatives are demanding to know if or when you are arriving, while completely ignoring the fact you have three other stops the same day. Everyone is in their own little head space. There are dozens of preparations to tick off your to-do list. Last minute scrambling seems to spawn more.

And you can’t wait until the craziness is over so you can have some peace.

Create peace in your own little corner of the world just by being peaceful. You don’t have to take any of the trappings so seriously. You may get generic gifts or none at all. Even if nothing goes as planned you can chose to remain calm. The best gift you can give yourself and others is peaceful energy.

As hard as people work to create the “perfect” holiday, they forget that what they consider to be perfect may not be anyone else’s vision. No one remembers perfection. The standout moments are when things go awry.

The roast beast doesn’t cook because the oven isn’t getting hot enough.

The cat chews up something on the tree and vomits all over the house.

The coveted toy malfunctions and burns a hole in the carpet.

The relative who won’t let you alone about your failures drinks the spiked eggnog and becomes worthy of a payback posting on YouTube.

Go toward the holiday river of chaos with a light heart and resolve to not let anyone or anything get to you. You can be the life preserver others cling to for stability in the unstable (even hostile) environment. Make peace by being peaceful. Others may not remember it or thank you for it, but you can change the energy of their holiday (and yours) tremendously.

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Happy Holidays everyone! Emphasis on Happy.

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Day in the life

Looking Up

Jim Carrey, 'The Grinch'

On my errands this week, I was just about to get out of the car when I looked up. In my rearview mirror, two women threw their arms wide open, sang that strange sound that reminds me of a violin being tuned, ran to each other and embraced as if they’d been separated for many years. I warmed at their loving energy and watched for a moment as they held each other at arms-length while rapidly catching up. Even with my windows closed I managed to hear how well one was doing after having been hospitalized.

And then He showed up to spoil it.

Five sharp horn blasts came from a Grinch of a man, angry that the women were blocking his path. Killjoy. They stepped aside to let him pass to the handicap space where he climbed from his big Buick as able-bodied as anyone. Before marching to the store, he tossed them a pinched glance as if to say, “Take your sickening happiness somewhere else.”

This didn’t bother the women nearly as much as it did me. They resumed their gushing.

I followed The Grinch inside.

He browsed unhurried while I asked myself why he’d hit such a nerve. Didn’t take me long to remember.

In my younger days, what seems like another lifetime, I was The Grinch.

Oh, I never laid on my horn to break up happiness, but I know that I’d thought about it. Even waved The Finger that I’d overheard from a five-year-old just yesterday, “ . . . means you hate God.”

Yeah. I hated everyone back then.

My life had gone in an undesirable direction – for 25 years! And I had no idea how to change any of it.  Happiness was so foreign it spoke might as well have spoken Mandurian.

It took losing everything in a fire to snap me out of it. I can look back now and be grateful for the catastrophe that burned my old life to ash. My old life had died in the fire and I got to be at my own funeral. It cleaned my slate, reset my hard drive, and opened the door to a fresh start. Because when you hit bottom, there is only one direction: Up.

Had it not been for that I might still be a Grinch, stomping around everyone else’s happiness without ever finding my own.

So I said a little “Thank You” to Mr. Grinch for reminding me that today I can only look up.

 

 

 

 

 

Beliefs, Day in the life

When To Say When

Image result for images of bad decisions

Have you ever known in your gut that “the big step” you were about to take would be a huge mistake, but you went ahead and did it anyway? Like marrying the wrong person, choosing a habit or protocol out of convenience, or a logical career path to please someone. You listened to everyone else and their rationalizations about your dilemma, and all those opinions outweighed your feelings and overruled your instinct.

How many times have you gone against your better judgment only to regret it?

And how long did it take you to stand up and say when?

Still haven’t worked up the courage?

When will that happen?

After you’ve completely lost your identity to a relationship? In the middle of the Bar Exam? After your second child? On your death bed?

Every time I’ve gone against my inner knowing, I’ve paid dearly. Bad relationships, worse jobs, paths I had no intention of traveling. And I knew better. Deep in my gut, I knew. But I didn’t listen. Live and learn, right?

Standing up for yourself, what you want, what you know is right for you, isn’t necessarily easy. But if you don’t do it, who will?

Lately, I’m encountering people who are dissatisfied with their lives, but afraid to say when. They remain in situations or relationships that no longer serve and don’t fulfill any of their desires.

When do you say when?

When you feel safe? When you can afford to? When others involved will be accepting?

You know when you know. But you must be aware that you know. And you must act on what you know. Pay attention and listen to inner self, your physical body, your progress toward your desires. Take inventory. Are you where you expected to be in your life? Have you ticked off an acquisition list only to find yourself empty or even miserable with all that you thought would bring you success?

Ask the questions:

What is missing?

Why did I want that?

Who would this affect besides me?

How would I be able to manage it?

When would be the best time to say when?

Your “when” might be a year from now or ten minutes from now.

Quick story. A dear friend held a childhood dream of doing hair, yet her financial life took her on a corporate path. By her forties, she was asking when to say when. When she finally did, a health scare placed the dream on the back burner again. For another year, she questioned, “When?”

She’d already been accepted at a school but had no idea how to pay for it or how she would survive the intense schedule.  Just before Christmas she went to work and said, “I think I’m going to start school January 5th.” She didn’t know all the answers to how, but she trusted her gut that her timing was right. She scored a full scholarship at 43. I’m pleased to say that she just graduated and is now working in a salon, thrilled to pieces that she is finally doing what she loves.

Is there such a thing as perfect timing? Everyone’s when will depend on their own variables. But if you don’t pay attention to that little voice pressing you to set a time frame, you’ll never achieve a dream, or get out of your undesirable situation, back to yourself, or live to see your true potential.

Destiny won’t invite herself through a closed door. You decide when to let her in.

You decide when to say when.

You decide.

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